You know that guilt that can creep in around being a stay-at-home mom?...
Feeling a sense of shame for ONLY being a mom...OR feeling a sense of guilt for doing anything else BESIDES being a mom!
If you are on the fence about whether it’s OK or even possible to pursue business as a mom, I want to share with you a few reasons why I believe it can be valuable, even in the trenches of motherhood.
Your greatest success is to your family FIRST! As long as your home is in order and you are willing to fight tooth and nail for your priorities...I believe business can be a great thing for the family.
Listen in as we discuss some benefits of pursuing business, that has nothing to do with money!
LET’S STAY CONNECTED
Full Episode Transcription:
Hey friends! Today, we're going to be talking all about motherhood and business, and how it even works together, is it even okay to pursue both? What are some of the benefits that it can have for the family? But first, I want to remind you and make sure that you know that we are celebrating the launch of this brand new podcast this first week of The Nourishing Mompreneur Podcast with cupcakes, and I am doing a giveaway this week. I would love for you to participate and have an entry into that. So all you have to do is right now, pause this episode, scroll to the bottom of The Nourishing Mompreneur Podcast, rate, and leave a quick review, and then take a screenshot. Email that to "Hello@NourishingMichelle.com" I will enter you into a giveaway for a four pack or a nourishing batch of The Nourishing Cupcakes. Now if you don't know what those are, girl you are missing out! Go over to NourishingMichelle.com and you'll get more details. They are two frosted cupcakes in a cute little glass jar, tied with a twine bow and a wooden spoon. So, you eat with the spoon- a total experience, but here's the thing, they are truly healthy and truly delicious. They are all organic, and glute-free, grain-free, refined sugar-free, some are even dairy-free, but they are so amazing! If you are a foodie and health is not your forte, or if you are a super crunchy mama, either one, you are going to love these, oneof a kind of super special cupcakes in a jar and I am so excited to ship some of these out to you guys. So again, all you have to do is leave a really quick review, and I just wanted to share a review that has blessed my heart so much this week, this comes from (Rajuncajunmomma) the title is "Solid working mom podcast" she says, "Michelle is honest, relatable and provides the most solid advice. Michelle isn't afraid to share both her triumphs and failures. Every mom can relate to her journey in some way or another. Michelle also has a way of putting things into perspective that will inspire you. She's a mom we all wish we had and the mom friend everyone needs." Girl, thank you so much for the kind words you don't know how much that means, this has been such a fun project, a leap of faith, and just the support and encouragement along the way, it means the world, and when you leave a review it helps me get this into the hands of other women so that we can lift each other up and power each other and really point each other to the Lord, and all that we do in the home as we pursue our greatest potential guys, so leave a review. Spread the Love, share the news, and thank you so much enjoy today.
Welcome back to the Nourishing Mompreneur Podcast where we get encouraged and empowered as we pursue our greatest potential within the walls of our home. Hey Mama, my name is Michelle Hiatt, and I'm so thankful you're here. Do you feel like your life is good but something in you feels unfulfilled? Do you feel stuck in the trenches of motherhood, exhausted, and working so hard, but feeling like you're getting nowhere? Do you have big dreams you're holding in your heart, but you've been living small? Are you motivated for more, but don't have the clarity or the courage to do anything about it? Do you want to discover God's best and see if it's really possible to be an excellent wife, an intentional mother, and be successful in business, all for the glory of God? As a wife of 16 years, a homeschooling mom of five, and an entrepreneur, I know exactly how you feel. Every bit of it. I truly believe that the most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your home and that there is purpose in every season. If you are a fellow business-minded mama, with a heart for home and a love for Jesus, let's process this journey and grow together.
Hey mama. Today I want to talk about juggling motherhood and business, and some of the benefits of that that have nothing to do with money. You know, most of us start a side hustle or we start a home business or we begin a journey of entrepreneurship to earn some extra money, we want to help out of the house. We want some extra cash, we want to help support our family income and those resources they have, but it's really really hard and the guilt creeps in, super fast. You know I think that before you start any business is important to know why you're doing what you're doing, because just wanting money or just wanting income isn't good enough, especially if you're a mom. You have so much working against you as a mompreneur, you need to know why you're doing what you're doing, and I believe that the most important benefits are the value that business can bring to the family and to the table is way beyond money and there's a lot of other amazing, amazing things to that so let's just talk about some of that, some of the things that I've learned, and I'm sure you'll have some more things that you can add to this list. If you're on the fence about whether it's okay or even possible to pursue business as a mom, I just want to share with you some of these reasons why it's valuable, even when you're in this season of motherhood. You know for me growing up all I ever knew. All I ever had ever known was, there was either stay at home moms, or there was working moms. I didn't know that you could do both, I didn't see that, that much. Now it's very common, very culturally normal for the mom to be home with the kids working from home network marketing companies are booming, of course, and so that's just always an easy outlet for moms to do that but I do remember after I had my son. I was surprised how many people would ask me, well, what do you do? I was like, what in the world? Like I have a newborn in my arms why are you asking me what I do, isn't it obvious that I have a baby? It was, it just kind of blew my mind that to a lot of people they would even ask that question, like it wasn't good enough or like it wasn't enough and it almost made me feel a sense of shame for being just a mom. I quickly learned to kind of defend that statement in my heart and also in response was saying things like, "well yeah you know it's a full time job" and I would talk about how busy I was all the time in it and it all was true. There was just like I said this subtle shame of not being enough or not being good enough. Then fast forward to getting to a season of motherhood where we needed the extra income, I had three kids at the time and we needed extra income and I knew that I could help I knew that I could do more and I was ready for it, I was I had it in me. I had the desire the drive, like I was ready for it. That also came with kind of a lot of doubt and a lot of questions and also that nice dose of guilt and shame, like, gosh, am I being selfish by doing this? Am I hurting my kids? Am I failing them? Am I taking away from them? You know all of those things, so it just sometimes can feel like a no win situation like we feel guilty if we're not doing business, but then we feel guilty when we do add that to the mix. Tt gets really challenging but I believe that your greatest success is to your family first. For me, that's the truth like, as long as your home is in order, and you're willing to fight tooth and nail for your priorities to pursue an excellent marriage, and to be the best mom that you can be, I believe business can be a really awesome thing and a beautiful thing and enhance the family, push the family forward with the goals and the vision that you have.
You know being a mom, it absolutely is a full time job and it is the most important work let me, let me not confuse that at all. I love pursuing business too and it took me a long time to be okay with this it took me a long time to actually be okay with having goals and dreams of my own, and embracing entrepreneurship, while being a wife and a mom I almost, you know, just, it just almost feels wrong, there's just so many different opinions and sometimes the opinions of others, the hardest ones to absorb are the ones that come from the people that love you the most or that you love the most. But the most important thing is to remember is that guilt and shame are never from God. They usually come out of fear of man and worrying what other people think about you. The most important thing is that you're walking in obedience to God in your season and I'm gonna say that like a million times because there are different seasons of life. It is a natural process to our world. There are different seasons in motherhood and that's really important to identify the season that you're in and make sure that you're doing the things that are in alignment, not only with your season but with the will of God. You know, maybe this is the time for you to be diving full in with motherhood and not doing anything else besides feeding babies diapers dishes bedtime stories. I love that that's amazing and I support you and this podcast is absolutely for you. Listen, if you are home, you are managing a house, you are managing a house, it's your workplace. It is your workplace and you are building a family operation and it truly is meaningful and purposeful, it's just sometimes a thankless job or sometimes the things that you're sowing you don't see bear fruit right away. Or sometimes you're working on a lot of intangibles, if you will. Those kids heart sets, their mindsets, their attitudes, the training, the discipline, the love the affection the all of it.
Maybe you're also in a season where you're pursuing a career while trying to raise your children with excellence. This is absolutely the place for you because we just want to process life like how can we be the best that we can be. While we blend together our faith and our family motherhood and business. So that's really like the heart of this podcast and the heart of what I'm working through myself and what I want to just like, you know, lock arms with you want to, in our conversations here. Seek the heart of your Father, and just be willing to serve your family the best that you can it's gonna look different for everybody and it absolutely should. I found myself fully embracing motherhood, but also doing business but it was just, I felt like I was, I felt like I kind of had to hide it.
I don't know if you guys resonate with that or if you know what I mean I was wanting to do business and I really enjoyed that but I kind of felt like I had to hide it because it wasn't the holy or thing, you know, for me to want to do something outside of motherhood, it almost felt like it was wrong, you know, and I'll tell you I went to the beach with my husband, this was, gosh, I want to say three years ago. Yeah. Three years ago I was gonna say four. It's been three. But I was walking on the beach with my husband and I was listening to an audio book and it, Honestly, changed my life in a huge way. It was just what I needed to hear in the place that I was at, and it was I was listening the audio book, it was highly recommended from a friend who I know and trust I wouldn't have not unnaturally gone towards it, but it was a little excerpt from the book Girl Stop apologizing by Rachel Hollis. Now I want to stop right there before the walls go up when you start like having all these thoughts and ideas. I am not here to endorse Rachel Hollis, but I'm also not here to judge her. All I can tell you is that in this season, she had a book, and it really spoke to my heart and it helped me in ways that I really needed at that time. The biggest thing that it did is that it helped me realize for the first time like really get it, like how God made me. It worked on my identity like wow like it's okay to be the way I am. It's okay to be wired the way I am. It wasn't any less righteous for me to want to do big things while being a wife and a mom. She has a quote in there, and, oh, gosh, I can't even think I can't even quote all right now I don't have a written down, but basically, like, I feel like I was raised with liberal conservative and I was raised to live small and to live, you know, just the certain way within this box. This box that I thought it would look like, but in my heart I was created to dream big, and I was trying to figure out how those to fit. And so it was just really profound and life changing and mind blowing to me to understand wow like God made me this way and it's okay to be me and I can embrace it and I can run with it and I can grow and press into that. You know sometimes we feel like I definitely would, I could label myself as like the overachiever type I was a girl in high school that had all the straight A's and all the awards and all the trophies and president of this and captain of the team and all of that, you know and when, when you're in high school, you know, when you're in school, it's very rewarded it's very applauded and even our parents with best intentions they reward and applaud that but it's so much works based. You know, and you kind of press into that doing and overachieving, but here's the thing. As you grow, not only in life but in your walk with God. It's okay to achieve as long as you're surrendered surrender is the key word to achieving at the level that God has called you to.
If God has called you to do great things if he's put that drive in you. He's put that work ethic in you if we put those big dreams in your heart, pursue that, but make sure that you're surrendered and that you're focused on who you are, not what you're doing because we can get so caught up in the doing that we we neglect the being part and that is the most important piece and that is something that I will always be learning and figuring out but you know I'll tell you the answer to all of that is that everything falls into place and make sense when you are just resting in the love of God. He is the answer to everything. Learning one of the biggest things, this is not in my notes, this is not part of my conversation I was planning to talk about but one of the biggest things that he's been teaching me in the last few months is to rest in Him and to walk out of a place of rest. I can work hard, but it doesn't always feel good, there's a lot of striving in that and there's a shift happening in my heart and my life from striving to surrender and it feels so different. It feels weird. It really feels weird but it's beautiful learning to work out of a place of rest and to rest in Him, and to be who you are and who you're created to be achieve, and work and do, but do it all surrendered. I hope that encouraged you, a little side note rabbit trail but, but that was one of the biggest things that, that the book just spoke to my heart during that time as I'm walking on the beach I just, it was like, I got it in my heart for the first time. And, you know, as I've grown to embrace how God made me to be while keeping my priorities.
Let's talk about some of the reasons why I believe pursuing business, that thing that side hustle, whatever it is that you're doing is important. If you have that in your heart to do. Okay, so one of the things.
Number one, we need to chase our dreams, and be happy. Our kids need to see mama be happy, they need to see you be happy. How can we tell our children to trace chase their dreams and pursue their potential and hey baby, you can do anything you set out to do, if we don't believe in ourselves if we're not also chasing our dreams?
Number two, we need to lead by example. We know the phrase more is caught than taught, and it is really important. Our kids are watching us one day if we are not living up to what we tell them and what we teach them, they're gonna find us out there, the truth will prevail and they'll know that. Let's live authentically to the way we're raising our children, and the belief system that we pour into them.
Let's believe in ourselves too and let's walk into that and press into that, but you know we get a front row seat as we raise our kids to watching them go through life, to watching them grow, and often struggle and and go through the good and the bad. Our children, they also get a front row seat to watch us. When you do business, it is not easy. You guys know that anybody that's done anything, even just just motherhood man, it is. Life is not easy, you have to get up and do the hard things all the time but when our children get to watch us struggle when they get to watch us fight through challenges when they get to watch us fall down and get back up when they get to watch us run into obstacles and figure out solutions.
When they get to watch us choose courage. These are things that are priceless. They are watching us, and this adds so much value to, to their hearts and to their minds. Discomfort is, this is a quote discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life. And you know good and well that you have got to get comfortable being uncomfortable on the journey of entrepreneurship, that is just, you can't. There is no getting around that, there's absolutely none. Business is very emotional. I've learned that a lot. If you are feeling like you're pursuing business and you're like man I'm, I'm up, I'm down and you just have all these business is emotional let me validate you in that, but isn't motherhood so much about helping our children navigate their emotions, all the conversations all the tears all the, the friend drama. It's really valuable and so I was listening to an interview.
One night I think I was up really late making cupcakes, and I was in an interview with Ed Mylett, and the woman that he was interviewing I'm sorry I don't have her name on hand, but I'm just going to read this quote and she said, "Our children are going to grow up in a complex and fragile world in which their hearts will be broken, multiple times. And the greatest gift we can give our children is helping them to deal with the emotions that are going to come with the reality of life, because ultimately their capacity to deal with their emotions is going to be the cornerstone of their mental health and well being, but also their ability to self regulate to motivate themselves to motivate others to influence, to stay their course."
Emotions are important, and we can help our children better navigate their emotions as we navigate the emotions of business. It's a great gift to give them we want to our natural tendency as moms is to keep them safe, to keep them secure to keep their life easy. And yes, we want them but it's okay to let our kids work through things, and they will they'll be able to, to know that mom Hey mom's with you. Mom is working through stuff to Mommy's having a hard time, but you know what, I'm gonna have a good attitude anyways you know what I'm having a hard day I'm feeling a little discouraged right now but you know what, I'm going to get up and do what's right no matter what. If we can overcome our emotions, we can overcome a lot.
And we at the end of the day we have to make a choice I grew up with two sisters, and yeah I kind of was raised in a way where our emotions were allowed to really prevail in a lot of ways I mean, goodness gracious, when it was that time of the month like you better tiptoe on eggshells around that person that's on her cycle because it is like, yeah, she has the right to act crazy, and I didn't know till I got married, my husband was like, um, yeah, no, we don't act like that and I was like, what, just because you're having your period, doesn't mean you could act like a total, you know what? Like I didn't know that it like wasn't okay and I actually learned that like, oh, like you can feel emotions and validate that it's okay to feel that way, but at the end of the day we have to choose how we respond to that and so I have four girls now, and I really try to instill that into them and a young age like let them feel how they feel let them sit in their moment but at the end of the day, how are we going to act and what choice, Are we going to make our emotions can't dictate our life and business will test you to the limit. And as you work through that that the pressure the testing the struggling, your kids are watching and they get to work through with you, and you get to better teach them by example. Okay. Going to the next one. You get to learn to manage your time better.
I think I'm on number three here if you're numbering. You can't, you actually can't manage your time but you can manage yourself so you get to manage yourself better, but you know, time to me as a mother is the most precious thing you have it is the most precious asset we have, as a mother, it just goes so quickly, but you cannot really juggle all the things with how learning to be a good steward of your time. So you got to choose really wisely where you invested and for sure business threw me into this pursuit of time management skills and getting better and better all the time with that. Okay, on, on that thought.
Number four, you also have to learn to set boundaries and stick to it. Now I'm going to be honest with you guys this is a weak spot for me and I'm really working on this last year was a major working season for me and I pretty much programmed myself to be like a workaholic in so many ways, because I had to out of necessity, so many boundaries went out the limit. And that's not how I wanted to live my life and I've been getting I'm moving back into more balance in order, I have everything on paper I have great intentions but sticking to it, and actually cutting it off when it's time to cut it off and shifting gears when it's time to shift gears, even when the job is not quite finished. That's really hard for me but it will push you to do that and setting boundaries is important for all walks of life and all seasons of life.
You cannot grow a business without committing to your own personal growth, we know that your business will not grow beyond you as you grow and develop as a person, your business will come along with that. But the cool thing is that as you grow as a person in all areas of life. You get to coach your kids, I look at myself so much as not just a mom, but a mentor, the influence I have over my children is the best. I mean, to me that's like the number one reason I homeschool because I get to be their number one influence. I get to coach them through their mindsets their heart sets their skill sets I get to help them create habits for success I get to be the one the number one place because I'm with them I have the time to be with them to pour into them, and they get to be your number one apprentice in all areas of life so look at it as you do business, all the things that you learn all the knowledge you gain all the skills and the gifts and the things that you cultivate, don't hold that to yourself and just put that back into your business, put that first into your family. Pour out the things that you're learning into your children and let them learn with you and be your apprentice.
Okay, I'm on number six here, I wrote, doing business, it breaks the control freak and you totally does. I definitely like a home in order, but the thing that I've learned is that you can do anything but you cannot do it all, and when you are adding, you know, being a mom, you're already dealing with so much are spread so thin, adding business really complicates things in some ways, and you have to learn to delegate, you have to be able to let go and just not have so much control over things but you know what, it's a good thing. it really really is. I'll never forget I lived in Nashville, Tennessee, I had two little kids and so I had my little boy and my little girl we had a little house, everything was just little and I had everything just perfect. It was clean and I would clean like a, like a crazy lady, and this guy came knocked on the door once and I don't think this is crazy that I even like let him in the house but he was trying to sell a Kirby vacuum cleaner. So we came in the house, and he's trying to show me this machine, and he's going up above the baseboards of the doors and he's sucking with the vacuum he's trying to show me how great this vacuum works. And finally he just looked at me and he's like, he's like, Do you do you don't stop there. If it was like, Yeah, because he just could not find any dirt to clean up like it was so clean like I dusted the baseboards like my process was like ridiculous Well, I can't say this thing now, you wouldn't want to come eat off my floors, but I do, because it's a need of mine, I need peace in order and cleanliness in a home so we have a very well kept home, but it left a lot of that perfectionism, go in that control freak, go in here so embrace that.
Number seven, doing business, It gives the kids the space they need to create, to innovate and to learn to work. Like I just mentioned, you can't do it all. And there's going to be times where mom is working and she's not with you, she's not here to entertain you and they're bored. Let the kids be bored because it's in those moments of boredom, that's when their creativity has to kick in. That's where they learn to innovate, that's where they really have some of those special memories, and they can really just learn new things I'm telling you, out of boredom out of a place of boredom with my kids. I've seen them have some of the best time so I have no issues I have no guilt about when they're like I don't know what to do on board. Well let's figure it out because, you know, that's just how life is, sorry. They've learned to work, learning to work is one of the most valuable things that we can instill in our children. And you know what it does it instills confidence in them. There is a confidence in learning to work and learning to do things.
My mom is incredible, like incredible she's probably the hardest working woman I've ever seen. And she just set such an example I watched her growing up, she just works. She can do anything, anything she works so hard, and she says such a good example, but because of, you know our life was so busy I went to school all day. Then I had sports practice and I came home and I had homework and then I had a little bit of time and I was wanting to, you know, engage with my friend on the phone or whatever, I didn't have time to work I didn't have time to cook with her in the kitchen I didn't have time to do my laundry to iron my clothes, I mean, the most I did growing up was like clean the bathroom every once in a while and we fought over that you know and resisted that, well, I got married pretty young and so when I got married. That was when I first really did laundry for the first time and really grocery shopped and did all the adult things and so I kind of had to learn and figure it out on my own. I had a great example but I had to learn and teach myself to work, and it created a lot of insecurity as I was working through that process, and my kids just have such a confidence like they can clean they can do dishes they can do their laundry, you know, I, I spend the time to teach and train them, so that we can work together because that's what it's all about.
And that leads me to the next point is that doing business, it teaches teamwork as a family. Everything is a team look at your family as an, as a team. You can't and you shouldn't do it all, everybody can can contribute in some way towards the family vision towards the family goals and managing a home is a team effort, absolutely I don't do at all if people like how do you do well I don't I have amazing kids we have an amazing team and we all work together and we all just do our part and that's what makes it work. And when you do business, you have to tap into that you have to tap into that mindset of being a team.
And just a bonus. Thought I have this as number nine is doing business, pursuing entrepreneurship, it often provides an opportunity to work with your kids. I think that's really important to work with your kids, I know when I first started selling cupcakes. My son, really enjoyed that and it was so cool for our relationship, we just bonded and connected so much over that he would, He was my right hand man, as we work together in the kitchen and then we would go to different markets and we would set up tables and he actually started a business, alongside me I had The Nourishing Cupcake and he started this little popcorn business he called it The Nourishing Kernel so it was like really healthy delicious popcorn so we would sell right along each other but I was able to teach him entrepreneurship, of course his dad's phenomenal in business. He's a phenomenal entrepreneur. So, you know, all the kids are in great hands and he works a lot with his dad now but it's just a great opportunity to pull your kids in and work. Let them work with you in whatever capacity that they can just, whatever you're doing, F Lord for clarity on the season that you're in, but don't be afraid to work, don't be afraid to pursue business as a mom.
Don't be afraid to do something outside of motherhood, if you're called to it, you can be intentional and you can allow it to be a blessing to pull your family for it, it can be something that benefits the entire family. That helps develop strong character, even in the little ones. I believe that the journey of motherhood and entrepreneurship can be married very beautifully together. Again if you are intentional about that. I just want to read one verse here before I go. Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus, for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." He got created us. He created us to do good works. And it looks different for everybody. But what is that work that he's calling you to. Don't be afraid to press into that and pursue that and know that it's gonna feel hard and it's going to feel uncomfortable, and you're going to have doubt and you're going to have fear creep in. But if you know why you're doing what you're doing. The journey will be worth it. It's not a perfect journey it's not an easy one. But these are some of the reasons that I just went over, of why you should keep rocking out of that thing, that dream that you're pursuing.
So let me just pray for you real quick, Father God, I just pray for the mom, on the other end listening to this, Lord I pray that you would just encourage her spirit today. Lord, I pray that You would help her remember that whatever work she's doing whether she's changing diapers whether she's doing dishes, whether she's doing laundry, whether she's pursuing business, whether she's reaching out and just developing something greater beyond herself, Lord that you would just let her know that it's meaningful. And whether the work of her hands is seen or unseen. Help her to know that you are always watching and that she would work with a servant's heart, to honor you and all that she does we're blessed the work of her hands. Give her confidence, as she pours into her home and as she pours into the work that you have put in front of her Lord. We just thank you so much for your goodness to us, and I pray that You would give us a heart to walk and surrender, and just work out of your rest today. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.